slipping away

I'm scared that i'm slipping away again, just like i did in seventh grade.  I noticed certain things about the way i was feeling, and its really freaking me out.  I'm very stressed from school stuff, and that is bad for my emotions.  I'm good at handling stress, until i snap.

Um, i guess i should explain what that means.  My emotions don't work right.  I think they're defective.  They're stronger than they should be, and certain things make them even stronger.  Like when i'm tired, my blood sugar is low, and when i'm stressed.  I am amazing at handling stress, but i can only handle so much before i unintentionally turn to drastic measures to keep myself sane. Thats what i call 'snapping'.

When i snap, i loose control.  I cry every time i get a surge of feeling, my emotions' way of telling me to "back off, the emotional capacity is full.  Don't feel so much, you have to keep sane."  This is definitely not good for my social status at school.  Crying all the time puts stress on my friends, which causes me more stress.  Its a horrible endless cycle that sends me downhill.  Eventually my friends can't take it anymore and keep me at arm's length, which makes everything worse because the whole friendship thing helps a lot with dealing with this.

I loose control in another sense, too.  I feel, but i doesn't go deep.  I cry more often, but i don't feel it.  When i'm sad i look like it on the outside, and i know that i'm sad, but i don't really feel it.  Its the same way when i'm happy.  I just feel lifeless, i loose control of how i'm portraying my feelings because i don't feel them, they're not really there, just an illusion.  The only feeling that shows through this lifelessness is anger.  Anger always gets through the barrier, and of course it is accompanied with lots of crying.  If i try to hide my anger, from myself and everyone around me, it just turns to tears.  They're uncontrollable tears.  And they start to slip away, just like the rest of my feelings, until i'm just crying and all i can feel is the actual tears rolling down my cheeks.  This is what i like to call 'breaking down'. 

So i'm getting scared that this downward spiral is happening to me now.  I've noticed certain signs that always mean i'm loosing myself.  For one, i was in the shower and i was feeling ever so slightly lifeless, just enough so i was forgetting what i was doing and going on with my routine without remembering what i did, sort of like a zombie.  Thats the first sign.  The second is that someone flushed the toilet and the water got very hot.  It burned my back, but it felt good.  So good.  I woke right up from out of my trance and i felt again, it was pain, but i felt it.  When i finally realized that the pain was rapidly getting worse because of the continuous hot water, i turned the water back to normal temperature.  And then i realized what had happened and that i was liking the pain, and i got so angry with myself and sat down and cried.  The water got cold, but i couldn't feel it.  Not really.  I knew it was there and i started to shiver, but i didn't care.  I sat there for a long time, crying.  I think it was about 15 minutes.

Another sign that scared the living daylights out of me was when i was at my school orchestra concert.  My blood sugar was ridiculously low, it was about 6:30 that night and i hadn't eaten since 7:00 that morning.  I got mad about something, so so mad, and i tried my best to keep control.  That wasn't going to happen.  I started tearing up from the penned up anger, and i tried to smother that too.  It didn't end well.  We were running through the songs in the concert and i was distracted by playing the cello.  I noticed when we were done rehearsing, that i was shaking.  Then i noticed that my cheeks were soaked.  I was crying uncontrollably, very silently, but still very hard.  I realized that i would soon get a bunch of concerned looks, which only makes things worse.  So i went to the bathroom and tried to get a grip.  I finally composed myself after crying on the bathroom floor for a good 10 minutes.  When it hit me that i didn't feel myself sobbing at first, i freaked out, thinking that i was loosing myself right then and there.  That only brought on a whole other round of tears, and it didn't take as long to compose myself, this time.  I just went with the lifelessness and i'm pretty sure my face was monotone, but when i played the concert i got feeling back.  Music is my salvation.  I came away from that concert happy about how everything turned out with the songs, and i was extremely tired after that.

So thats what happens.  I'm going to watch for more signs, and hopefully get out of this downhill roll.  I have winter break in two days, and i have 16 days off from school.  That is EXACTLY what i need right now, so i think i'll be fine.  I just have to take it day by day.

*hugs*

~MC signing out <3

second week

Well like i expected, this last week went so much better than the first. Monday was pretty much just a monday except that i had my new spanish class. I hate the teacher. Shes crazy, and not in the good way. She totally freaks out over really weird things. But other than that monday was great. Tuesday was good... nothin much happened there. U know, nothing really happened all week until thursday night. That was one of the best nights of my life. I saw TMP live for the first time!!!!!!!!!!! It was so awesome, they're much better in person than fall out boy... ive never seen FOB in concert, but ive seen live videos on youtube. SO IM EXCITED BECAUSE THEY OBVIOUSLY HAVE POTENTIAL IF THEYRE GOOD IN PERSON LIVE!!!!!
We got home at like one in the morning. I just went right to bed, and i woke up late, so i didn't shower before school the next day. Kind of gross, but i don't care. Friday wasn't too amazing, but nothing really bad happened all week. Of course, one amazingly good thing happened, so this week pretty much rocked. I have to make a separate post for the concert.

*hugs*
MC signing out

first week

Well, its Saturday and i just finished my first week of school. It wasn't all good or all bad, it was up and down and up and down... I'm taking honors Biology, AP US History, honors English 2, honors Geometry, Spanish 3, Orchestra, Human Growth and Development, First Aid, and Aerobics. Pretty tough schedule considering that all the academic classes are honors except for history. Thats advanced placement, or in other words, college level. Its not as bad as it sounds, its just a whole bunch of reading.

Well, the first day of school kinda sucked, but it was ok. It was just plain confusing and it was humid outside so i was sweaty all day. Of course i had a on a shirt that showed it. Gross right? Well try being the person who can't change being gross. Not fun. The second day was pretty awesome, i followed along pretty well. The next day was as good as the last, but i was finally understanding my A day classes. Then the fourth day of school, bad stuff happened. The last 15 minutes of my last class, i was send down to the guidance counselor's office. I started feeling sick in a weird kind of way so i went to the bathroom. When i got there, i had the strongest urge to open my cell phone. I felt like i was going to explode if i didn't. So i opened the phone and turned it on, and there was a text message. I'm not going to explain all the previous conversations we had, but it was from my friend and it convinced me that she had killed herself. She never did it, and she just pretty much wanted attention, but i cried for three hours that day. I still haven't forgiven her for that. After i went to the bathroom and checked my text message, i went down to the guidance counselor's office like i was supposed to. Turned out that they had messed up my schedule by putting me in the wrong Human Growth and Development class and i wouldn't have gotten the credit i needed from it. I would have ended up going to my zoned high school junior year because i applied to the one i'm in now. I needed to complete that class my sophomore year or they would kick me out. So they changed my schedule, thankfully, but of course the class they moved to a different block is the history class. I had like ten friends in that class and that was the last straw and i started crying. But Friday was good again. I went to my new history class, and i knew ppl there too. The only bad thing that happened that day was at lunch i was talking to a violinist in my quartet and he said that he couldn't do it anymore. We'll work that out. Thats not a problem. I just looked and felt so tired that day because crying for long periods of time is very exhausting. Everything was good all in all.

Well, it was an interesting week and sleeping in felt so good this morning. Next week's gonna be better. I'm not gonna cry because ive cried this week enough to last me a month. Lulu, if u read this, thanks for the happy cheerios, they totally cheered me up and made Friday bearable! I love my friends and im so glad im gonna get to see them from now to the end of the year. Next week's gonna rock. Sophomore year's gonna rock! I just have to stay positive and give lots of hugs!!!

*hugs*
~MC signing out

stickers!!!

ok so when i set up my first all-around binder or folder, i have a series of stickers that im gonna put on it. Or maybe ill put them on my agenda, but i think that'll depend on how big it is cuz i have some big stickers to put on it. So they include a Tickle Me Pink sticker (really really good band) and a Draglist.com sticker (drag racing website my dad's into.) Of course a peace sign sticker, because im a hippie. I intend to put a bunch of different-colored polkadot stickers on there too, as well as a sticker with a music note on it, which i will get from my mom. (My mom's a music teacher, so she should have plenty of those.) I will also go bug my friend for a vegetarian sticker, preferably something cute. The last vegetarian sticker i had showed a picture of a little baby chick that said "Jesus loves me too." Ill have to get one of those... Maybe ill put a gay-straight alliance sticker on there... If i can find a sticker thats says "hold me, im a fermata", ill stick it on there too. My agenda or binder or folder is gonna be PACKED with stickers. I can't w8 for it to just spell out who i am and what i stand for!!! Ok ive decided that they're all going on my agenda because that goes everywhere with me... I cant w8!!!!!

Omg my agenda's gonna be rockin!!!! Its just gonna scream: Tolerance! Music Lover! Go Vegetarian! TMP Rocks! I'm a Hippie!!!!!!! YESSSSS!!!! cant wait cant wait cant wiat...

*hugs*
~MC signing out

reading reading reading

I swear ive been reading so much these last couple of days i cant believe my eyes haven't fallen out...  It gets to the point where i know i should be reading, but when i get the huge dry textbook on my lap, i can't read.  My mind wanders and wanders and i can't figure out a way to get reading... i eventually just go on the computer like i am now.  I try to read but after like two paragraphs, something in the reading has reminded me of something so i think of that while im reading.  It doesn't sound bad considering that im still reading right?  Well the thing is that if im concentrating on something other than the text then im not retaining the information.  So then i have to read it over again...  Taking notes as i go along has helped keep me focused and when i forget something i don't have to read an entire page over again, i just have to look back in my notes.  But the notes have been prolonging the process.  Its not that hard to read the novel but pretty soon im gonna have to read the textbook too, and im gonna be pulling a couple of all-nighters.  I wouldn't worry about it so much if i wasn't getting a test on what i read over the summer...  Goodness i should be reading now, not blogging... 

AAAAAAAAAAH I WISH THERE WAS A READING FAIRY OR SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!

*hugs*

~MC signing out 

school, six more days!!!!

Howdy... im just reminding myself that school is in six more days....

first of all...

YES I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE ALL MY BUDDIES AND CRAP AND MEET MY TEACHERS AND GIVE OUT LOTS AND LOTS OF HUGS!!!!!!!!!!! THE FIRST PPL IM GONNA SEE ARE JAKE AND SMILES AND IM GONNA ATTACK THEM WITH HUGS!!!!  THEN IM GONNA SEE LULU AND IM GONNA ATTACK HER TOO!!!! THEN IM GONNA SEE MY ORCHESTRA TEACHER AND HUG HIM!!!!!!!  AND THEN IM GONNA SEE... hmm.... LOTS OF OTHER PEOPLE AND HUG THEM!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!

and secondly...

O no im gonna have to finish my summer reading in five days which isn't good at all considering that i have like 90 pages of a textbook to read and a whole novel still left...  Omg procrastination sucks... its so deceiving cuz u think its good at first and then it stabs u in the back...  the sad part is that im gonna do it next summer too... *tear*...

ok now i have to go read XD!!!!  ily i don't care who u r but ily!!!!  btw ur awesome im sure cuz ur reading my blog and ur just so cooooooooooooool!!!!!!!  I wish u the best life and i hope u have a good school year or work year or watev!!!!!!!!!!  Hug someone today!!!!!!

*hugs*

~MC signing out

wolf tones gone!!!!!

Hey there ppls my cello had a wolf tone on a couple of notes in the 4th position on my g string.  And no im not talking about the underwear for all u non strings ppl.  A wolf tone is when a note is warbley because the balance is messed up.  I cud go into detail, but im not going to.  So i got a wolf eliminator which adds weight to the string so that the balance works again.  YES!!!!! i have my 4th position back!!!!! And yes i know im a geek!!!!!

so yeah this is all from the handiwork of the amazing Mr. Keiffer from Keiffer Violin Shop!!!!!  He can fix ur string instrument so bring it to him if ur in a 200 mile radius!!!! Look him up online so u can tell where he is!!!!!! yessssssssssss...

well im glad to have my 4th position back....

*hugs*

~MC signing out

ungh...

I'm so tired... i don't feel like going to bed tho cuz if i do then i won't be able to go to sleep.  But staying up is so useless... maybe ill do some history reading...

ok theres something i can blog about.  Instead of letting us enjoy our summer, our english department has decided to make us read two books over the summer.  Animal Farm and To Kill A Mockingbird.  I already read animal farm and i thot it was pretty much a bunch of pointless crap.  The message of the book cud have been portrayed in about two pages, but that wud be too easy.  I haven't gotten very far in mockingbird becuz i have been doing my history reading.  

o yeah im going into AP us history next year so i have to read 121 pages in my textbook for next year.  And take notes.  And fill out a packet.  i have about three weeks before i go back to school and i have to read all of mockingbird and finish the history reading.  Plus im going to colorado next week.  i mite be able to blog from there if i feel like it.

wow im just complaining here its definitely time for some sleep.

*hugs*

~MC signing out

balloons!

I went to work with my dad yesterday and today. When we walked in yesterday, his office was flooded with balloons! There were balloons up passed our knees. They were all different colors and shapes and there were everywhere. It took fifteen minutes to get back to his desk and scoop the balloons out from under it. So we just left them there all yesterday and today until the end of the day. Today we went and put a balloon on everyones desk on the entire floor so there are only about twenty on the floor of the office now. I'm so tired that i don't think im making sense here so im gonna just post this and go to bed...

*hugs*
~MC signing out

preppy rainbow

Rainbow is my bestest bestest friend right now. Number one on my friends list. I already wrote about lulu and jake but i was holding off on writing about rainbow because knowing our relationship, something else would happen all of the sudden and change how i feel about him. I figured i shud just write before i forgot i didn't write... i think that makes sense...

So, im gonna try to lay out a timeline here. Ill start from the beggining of when i knew him.


First we were friends, then we were really good friends, then he was my stalker, then he moved away and we're BEST friends now.

I was in seventh grade, and i met him in gym class. He was and still is a really weird dude. He came up and said hi, and of course i knew right then and there that we were gonna be great friends. Im like a magnet to weird ppl, and im totally happy to be. He talked really fast like a girly girl, but he was a guy. We ended up going on this field trip in seventh grade, and on the bus on the way there he really opened up to me. He told me that his parents both died of heart attacks, and he had a sex change when he was in elementary school. He told me that this kind of thing is what happens when ur foster parents don't care enough to know whats best for u. He said that he moved and lived with some other foster parents because he regretted the sex change and partially blamed his old foster parents for the decision. He told me that his current foster parents were lesbians, and he chose them because he thot heed fit in with them better.


So we were close friends for a while, and then rumors started. People were so convinced that we were going out, but we never were. Since he was really really weird and girlish, people started saying that since i slept with him, i wud sleep with anybody. (for the record, i never slept with ANYBODY. still a virgin and proud to be one!) So being friends with him automatically turned me into a slut in the eyes of some of my classmates. Not fun. Anyway, middle school turned into a nightmare, and at one point i refused to make out with this other guy in my home base, so then he asked me if it was because i was going out with rainbow. I said no, so naturally he started spreading around that rainbow and i were friends with benefits. So at this point i was even more of a slut. Its so weird that a rumor like that was spreading around when i was known to be a goody-two-shoes and a teachers pet.

The rumors basically were that

1. he was gay
2. i was going out with him (don't ask me how that works)
3. i was a slut
4. i was a goody-two-shoes (yeah that doesn't really work either)

So after the rumors really got going and my self esteem hit rock bottom, i started to separate myself from him, something i still can't forgive myself for. i stopped talking to him and i avoided him at all costs. I soon figured out that i was his only friend when he started saving seats at lunch for me, always right beside him, and the rumors got even worse since i always ended up sitting next to him at lunch. He didn't care cuz he was used to rumors, being as incredibly weird as he was, and pretty much started stalking me. He followed me around at every opportunity he had, and he was pretty fun to be around, but the more he followed me around, the worse the rumors got. I realize now that those rumors shoudn't have gotten to me at all, but u have to understand what low self esteem does to u and the way it makes u interpret things.


So those horrible middle school years ended and he moved away because if he went to the high school in our county, he was going to get beat up. He goes to a much better high school now in a different part of maryland and does just fine. Both of our self esteems have shot up during the transition to high school, and we still keep in touch over AIM. I realize now that he was one of my only real friends during middle school.


One day i was talking to him, right after he moved, and he told me he was gay. I had to be supportive at that particular time because he was really opening up to me again, but one thing bugged me. I couldn't figure out why he didn't come out during middle school and spare us both all of the rumors. All of the jerks that were spreading them already were convinced he was gay, and everybody else wouldn't have cared. One time middle school came up in a conversation, and i just asked him why he didn't just come out during middle school. He told me that he still didn't know if he was gay or straight or bi at the time because he had a crush on me. He liked me enough to question his orientation one final time. I asked him them why doesn't he call himself bi. He said that he probably was, but said that he knew he leaned far enough to the "gay side" to know that any crush on a girl wouldn't be strong enough to interfere with anything in his life, but plenty have guys have already altered his life for the better. He said that i was the only girl that he had liked that changed his life, but he still didn't like me as much as most of the guys he has liked. I just have to trust that he knows himself now, because just a couple of years before, he was still figuring himself out.


The whole time we were in middle school, he was skater, guy-liner and all. Now hes gone preppy over some dude and if i lived anywhere near him, i wud be running to his house and shooting him! (jkjk) He wears hollister now and he even changed his guy-liner to PURPLE!!! He told me that he was like a big gay colorful rainbow, and after laughing my guts out, i decided that rainbow just had to be his codename for this blog. After almost having a heart attack, i thot about telling him to dump the guy, but then i thot if he went prep over him, he must really like him. He sent me a pic of the dude, and he was HOTT. After telling him that i got why he went preppy and that i was so jealous to the point of anger, i constantly reminded him that i hated him. I still tell him that when he talks about his bf, and i know that he must be doing just fine in his high school to have a bf like that...


So anyway, now we're best friends and we talk all the time. I miss him so much, but i know that i can always call him or IM him when i really miss him. I have to ask him if he has a cell phone to see if i can text him, but i know ill never stop talking to him as long as im in high school. Ill even try really really hard to keep in touch when i go to college. I'll never forget that he was my best friend who got me through the worst two years of my life, even if i didn't know it then. I love him like a brother and he'll always be there for me, the same way ill always be there for him.


*hugs*
~MC signing out

camp

All last week i was at an orchestra camp!!! It was SO much fun. It was UNCG summer music camp. It was at a college, in case u didn't figure that out from the big initials at the beginning of the last sentence... Anyway i roomed with one of my good friends and another one of my good friends roomed right down the hall. The caf food pretty much sucked but breakfast wasn't so bad. I only threw up once while i was there, so i guess the food was okay. My dorm room was huge, like twice the size of my room at home... which i guess is a good thing seeing that two ppl are supposed to live the dorm room...

I learned an easy way to get my left arm in a good position on my cello, which i have been trying to figure out for two years now. I just had to slide my hand down the cello and back up again without bending my wrist in an unnatural way, and once i get back into first position i couldn't change the position of my arm. It looked so fancy and professional!!!!! I was so excited to show my cello teacher when i got home and went to my lesson today! Oh and i got a new piece to work on in my lesson, which is good i guess, but it will take a little while to get that piece up to a good pace... Its pretty hard but i think i can get the first movement down in about a month.

I LOVE LIFE!!!!!
sorry about the random loving...

*hugs*
~MC signing out

fun day

Today was pretty fun. the first violinist im my quartet and his mom and his sister came over to our house to swim. My mom and their mom just layed on a springfloat matress thing in the pool and us kidz tossed a volleyball around. It sounds kind of boring, but it really wasn't. It was so much fun cuz we laughed a lot and the sister and i attacked the brother with the ball. Good times, good times. They went home after about two hours though and both my dad and my brother were at work the whole time. But it was fun overall.

*hugs*
~MC signing out

the perfect dress

So my mom and i went shopping today. I wanted a sundress to wear to my grandparents' 50 anniversary party. We went to a bunch of stores, and we were out for hours. First we went to the dress barn--if we were going to find the perfect dress it would be there--but the clothes there are pretty expensive and all their dresses were too fancy. I actually came across one dress that i really liked but it was too big and they didn't have smaller sizes in it. So then we went to tjmax. They had some cool stuff there but their sizes run small and so all the dresses i liked from there didn't fit me. So then we went to macys and looked in both the misses sections and the womens sections, (i'm right in between the two), but we didn't find any dresses that fit me right. By the time we had gotten to macys i had given up and i was willing to go with something on the fancy side. But since macys was in the mall, we decided to go to another store in the mall to look and if we didn't find the perfect dress then we were going home and wearing a shirt and skirt to the party, which i didn't really want to do because i had been wanting a sundress for a while now.

So the last store we looked in was newyorkandcompany. We found it. It was a simple low-cut v-neck knee-length pinkish dress in exactly my size. Not too fancy, but not too bland. Its one of those dresses that only tall people can really pull off. Which is perfectly fine with me since im 6' tall. I can wear it and dress it up or i can wear it to school with a black cami and black leg-warmers underneath. It's adorable. My next mission is to find some pink peace-sign earrings to match. I finally found my perfect dress and im gonna wear it all the time. There's a picture at the bottom... not too great of a smile, huh?


*hugs*
~MC signing out

lyrics to Feels Like Fire (by dido and santana)

I'm telling u its over
now there's an angel
holding me
my way's easy
even if ur fallen
o ur strugling
there's still beauty
in what we do

so a que sera
lets go sailing on
theres a wise man
in ever fool

i say come back
come in from the cold
into the warm
i feel like fire
guiding u back home
as darkness falls

so everybody stands in line
cuz the wanna stay alive
to w8 alone
no dog no bone
and then u find its over
and o it tears ur heart
to slip away
from the crowd

but if u have what it takes
to return to where
all the world
knowns ur name
then a que sera
lets go sailing on
there's a wise man
in every fool

i say come back
come in from the cold
into the warm
i feel like fire
guiding u back home
as darkness falls

so a que sera
lets go sailing on
there's a wise man
in every fool

i say come back
come in from the cold
into the warm
i feel like fire
guiding u back home
as darkness falls

i say come home
leave it all behind
and settle down
i feel my love
give me what i want
for all time

for all time
i feel like fire

captain billie's crab house

Well, as i said in the last post, its my mom's birthday so we went to captain billie's crab house to celebrate. We had crab legs and shrimp and hush puppies. It was really good. When i looked out the window at the water i saw my gym teacher from last year. She was working there for a summer job. I resisted the temptation of ribs... i guess the whole vegetarian thing is going well for me. Sometimes i feel like i HAVE to have meat and then i take a bite of it and its not as good as i remembered. I've decided to try to trick myself into thinking that every meat from a cow or pig or bird is going to taste disgusting. I don't know how well it will work....

Anyway my mom had a decent time i thought. My brother and i had fun in the car on the way back. My dad wasn't too happy the whole night but im not really sure why. When we got home, my brother and i took the trash and the recycles out and then everybody but me went into the family room to watch some history movie that i know i wouldn't like. I was the only one who just came into the computer room and started on my blog, no movie. I needed some alone time i guess. I might actually go to bed at a decent time tonight, too, cuz im pretty tired. The whole chair thing got me up this morning... (see last post)...

I wanna give a shout-out to my best friend lulu who im pretty sure will read this blog. ILY LULU!!!!! UR THE BEST! SEND ME AN EMAIL AND ILL TELL U HOW TO GET INTO MY BLOG SO U CAN TALK TO ME!!!
Sometimes i wonder if anyone reads this blog... there's not much here to read so i guess not... if u do send me an email id love to talk to my fans (XP)!

*hugs*
~MC signing out

happy birthday, mom!

Hey guess what?  Well im assuming u guessed it because the title gave it away... XD... Well what u were supposed to guess was that its my mom's birthday.  I'm not telling u her age, but i can tell u that she LOVES peanut m&ms.  I don't even know why.  In my opinion, m&ms are bad quality chocolate, and anything with nuts and chocolate i just don't like.  Except for walnuts in my fudge.  Gotta have the walnuts.  But idk, i guess they have like some sentimental value to her or something... at least thats the case with her obsession with rootbeer floats... She is completely going crazy that an a&w is gonna open up near our house soon!  Too bad its paired with a longjohnsilvers.  O well i guess we won't eat from there, we'll just drink our root beer floats...

K, i think im done rambling now.  Anyway all she really wanted for her birthday were a couple of lounge chairs for out by the pool.  (o yeah we have a pool in our back yard.)  So the easiest place to get these particular lounge chairs is sams club, so we went there yesterday to get the chairs.  Sams club was PACKED.  So we decided to come back today early in the morning and be one of the first people there to get those stinking lounge chairs.  We asked a guy who worked there when they opened and he said seven in the morning.  So sure enough we woke up at about six thirty--which is really early for me considering that ive been sleeping till noon as of late--and we checked the website just in case the dude got it wrong.  Sure enough he did, and it opened at ten.  I woke up at the normal person's equivalent of three in the morning to go there and it opened at ten.  So i went back to sleep and woke up again at nine thirty to go get the chairs.  We got there and there was a line at the front door.  A line to get into sam's club.  I'm not even kidding.  So we were about the thirtieth party of people in there, which isn't so bad because the store is so flippin big, so we went and we got the lounge chairs. 

We brought the chairs home along with doughnuts and coffee.  My brother ate two of the bear claws and we only had four, one for each person.  So my dad went without a bear claw.  Poor dad.  So we gave my mom the birthday cards out by the pool while she was sitting on one of her brand new lounge chairs.  Mine played the limbo rock and said that i wud bend over backwards to make sure her party rocked.  Haha, get it?  Anyway my brothers card said happy birthday can i help u eat the cake and had two little weird hamster things that sang an odd version of the birthday song.  My dads card said happy birthday and that she didn't have to stay in bed all day unless she wanted to and it showed a picture of a bear in bed with hearts in his eyes... a pretty G-rated way to say that i guess...

Anyway her birthday's going great, shes been happy all day as far as i can tell.  She keeps finding little mini bags of peanut m&ms that i stashed in places for her to find.  She smiles every time she finds one, which i didn't expect.  I'm glad the m&m plan worked well...  Later we're going to Captain Billie's crab house cuz shes been craving crap legs.  I'm gonna tell the waiter to completely embarrass her and get a bunch of people to sing the birthday song to her in the middle of the restaurant.

Um, i think thats it...  HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!!

*hugs*

~MC signing out

beautiful lulu

My two second-best friends at the moment are jake and lulu. I've written like an essay on jake XP--so i figured that i'd better write something about lulu! Lulu is my really cool friend who can talk for HOURS. Gawd, she's so much easier to describe than jake... Anyway, shes older than me but i act like her older sister cuz she gets herself into all this crazy boy trouble and shes always asking me for advice. U know what? I'm just gonna make a list of why i love her.

1. she is really funny and random
2. she goes on these rants about, well, anything really! the last rant i got was about a mankini...
3. she brings out the best in anyone, except toothpick, but really, who can cheer him up? (inside joke)
4. she has really pretty brown eyes
5. im never bored when i'm around her
6. she has amazing philosophical dreams that make me cry
7. she and i think about people and their personalities the same way
8. she tells me she loves me like every time i talk to her, which always cheers me up
9. shes one of the only people who puts up with my excessive obsession with hugs
10. shes just so awesome but she doesn't know it

I don't know what else i can say... anyway shes amazing and beautiful and clever and delightful and ecstatic and fun and great and happy and insightful and jovial and kewl and lovable and more! hmmm... now i need an N... ok got it! Lulu's also nice and... whats an O? hmmm... well i ran out but shes awesome!!! There you have the ABCs of lulu! (well maybe only half of them....) But i don't care i love love love her!!!!!!!!

*hugs*

~MC signing out

UPDATEABLE IMPORTANT PEOPLE KEY

initials-----codename

RG-----jake

IN-----lulu

ES-----elle

RW-----cocoanut

NT-----springroll

AM-----jewel

SM-----tayla

PS-----rainbow

JP-----matt

AT-----newton

WS----stilliam

AH----yoli

hmmm...

I'm just at home and i have been for a long long time now. School is out, obviously, and so im just kind of doing nothing all day. I miss all my friends from school, they're kind of the only friends i have... which sounds really bad but its not. I have lots of friends from school, its just that i don't have any friends from any of my orchestra thingys that don't go to my school... so yeah... i wanna talk about who i miss the most but i don't wanna put their names up so im gonna make a key. i'm gonna make it a separate post, so i guess i shud just post this one...

*hugs*
~MC signing out

let them know!!!

Hey everybody! Do u have awesome friends? Tell them, im totally serious, its really important. Everyone assumes that their friends know how awesome u think they are, but chances are they don't. It takes like two seconds and if their friends have never told them that they're awesome before, it will completely alter their self esteem. If it wudn't be too weird, tell them why, too. Let them know that they are unique and special to u and that they are just a great friend. It will brighten up their day and maybe their life.

*hugs*
~MC signing out

string quartet

Hey there again! So a couple of orchestra friends and i have put together a string quartet. We're calling it "Quartetto Vivace". We're still finding our perfect chemistry and such...
Anyway we hope to play weddings and birthdays and certain kinds of parties i guess, but we know that we wanna get really good and play for people!

So i thought i'd tell you why we're calling it quartetto vivace. "Vivace" is a music term for full of life, which we thought really worked cuz we're young and youthful and just a bunch of teenagers. We also really really like the way it sounds. I mean c'mon, just say it... VIVACE!!! Yeah in case you don't know how to say it, its (viv-ah-chay), NOT (vive-ah-chay) or (viv-ah-say). But seriously its really fun to say.

So yeah now u know about the name and why we chose it and everything. I'm the cellist, one of my best friends who has the same first name as me is the violist. Her codename is elle. So anyway, elle is the violist, my guyfriend ive known for years is the first violinist, and this really funny, akward, loveable kind of dude is the second violinist. I absoulutely LOVE all the people in my quartet and we work really well together. So now that ive wasted your time with yet another pointless post, i bid you gooday/night/watev!

*hugs*
~MC signing out

welcome to my site!!!

Hey everybody, musicchickie here and i just wanted to welcome you to my blog.  Come here to read what i've been up to and hang out and such. *Hugs*...mc